Yesterday I spent so much mental effort writing to reach a personal goal that I didn't have anything left to write an evening blog post.
After sleeping, waking refreshed and then exhausting myself again I have decided to post a small piece of writing that I cut from my novel. I changed the sequence of events enough that this excerpt no longer had a place in the story. I really like this part, so I'm happy to have an outlet to share it.
A little note for the reader: Bret and Jane are not friends. They've never gotten along, but they are both very close with a mutual friend. In this, their friend is badly injured and the two bond, briefly, for the first time, over their mutual concern.
***
Bret couldn’t manage to
formulate any words, but Jane knew what he was asking and she didn’t know what to
say: It’s hard to imagine she’s alive,
I've never seen so much blood, It doesn’t look good, I don’t know how anyone could survive that
many broken bones, all raced to the front of her mind, bringing tears to
her eyes and making her lip quiver.
She might lose her best friend today, and
after everything else, that was just too much to bear. She opened her mouth to
lie, to tell him, She’s fine, just a
couple fractures, but instead her voice came out as a squeak. She covered her mouth
with one hand, and turned away to blink away more tears. A
firm hand reached out for hers, and closed around the hand she had balled up
into a fist on the bed. Bret was leaning forward awkwardly, looking to her for
answers. Jane turned back and sat on the edge of the bed. She patted his hand
with her other hand, and opened her mouth again.
“She’s alive,” was all she could say at first. But
Bret deserved more. “She’s unconscious, but that’s good for her right now. Her
body’s badly broken, but the healer’s working on her right now. She’ll fix her up.”
Jane’s voice hitched again, but when Bret’s grip relaxed she changed the subject quickly.
***
I'm kind of sad to see this go. Bret and Jane need moments like this, but it just doesn't help the story at the moment.
-Brandolyn
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