Monday, 17 February 2014

Getting back to Fiction (DA)

Here's a long excerpt from a chapter I'm re-writing from one of my novels. Working title is "The Daughter of the Raven Queen".

Let me know what you think, or if you have any questions!
Comments and critiques are always appreciated.

Corilian

While the great metal cargo bay door lowered on the Helium filled airship called the Mary-Ellen Windchester, two members of the crew; a female sentry named Blaze and her partner a deck hand trained in close range hand to hand combat named Seth looked out onto the small floating continent of Corilian. In the growing gap of the opening cargo bay door they looked out onto the Corilian Skydocks and the little town of Nain surrounding it. This island was barren of trees or tall structures; the highest points on the island were the masts of the ships docked around them.

Seth listened to the far off shouts of their Captain above deck as he skillfully maneuvered the ship into its’ space in the harbour. He inhaled the air happily as he looked out to Nain. Growing up in the Standing Land city of Isherra surrounded by too many people and buildings Seth was much more at home in the small community of their ship, however he still found himself longing for life on land. Nain offered the balance he was looking for.

“If you weren’t on the Windchester, you would settle here. Wouldn’t you?”

Seth turned to the woman on his right who had remained silent watching the pier grown closer until now. By human standards Seth is considered an attractive man; he’s tall with brown hair that falls into his eyes when he hasn’t combed it to the side. He has round blue eyes, and a strong, slim build ideal for a quick hand to hand fighter with the mind of a scholar. Because he is usually considered attractive, and has a slim build Seth is often underestimated, unlike his partner Blayze; it is hard to underestimate her.  Slim, fit, recklessly impulsive and intense in every sense. Blayze is first to a fight and goes by the idea that you should act first and ask questions later. She stands a few inches taller than Seth, with dark curly hair, narrow green eyes, a body full of curves that draw the eyes of strangers and intense pale features from the elven half of her bloodline.  

She didn’t look at Seth when she spoke but looked beyond the Skyport to the village as well.

“Without hesitating.” He sighed. “Wouldn’t you?”

She shook her head, loosening a few curls from behind her slightly pointed ears. “Life on land isn’t nearly exciting enough for me.” With her face framed by dark curls Blayze smiled sweetly at Seth, but her eyes held a hint of apology.

The slow cargo bay door was nearly finished opening, but the ship hadn’t completed docking yet. They could still see a 4 meter gap between the hanger door and the end of the dock. Sensing a change in the cargo hold Seth looked to Blayze and saw her bending at the knees as another smile spread across her face. Her narrow green eyes shined intensely as she looked out at the expanse of sky between the ship and the dock.

“Don’t even think about it.” Seth cautioned, but Blayze had already lunged forward and was racing across the lowering hangar door as he finished his sentence. Too late, he thought to himself watching as she propelled herself from the ship into the air and safely into the middle of the wooden dock.
When she landed Blayze stood gracefully, turned and smiled back at Seth. He stood still, arms crossed over his chest watching her from the shadows of the ship. When she landed Seth relaxed and yelled for her, “We’re supposed to help unload the cargo!”

Blayze waived her hand in a noncommittal fashion, “You and the old man can handle it without me!” She called back. “I’m going to help tether the ship.”  

Seth shook his head jokingly as Blayze jumped away as if she had been startled and ran out of sight calling to the men and woman on deck for an anchoring line.

“Did she mean me?” A harsh voice asked from behind Seth surprising the younger man slightly. He jumped too and immediately understood why Blayze had disappeared so quickly. Izek, the ship’s Quarter Master and wizard had a personal distaste for Blayze and had appeared in time to hear her call him “old”. In the past her offhand references to his advanced age had prompted him to threaten her with eternal life as a swine. She enjoyed teasing him, but she knew as the man in charge of discipline on board the Windchester that he had the ability to make her life miserable at the snap of a finger, and she believed he would do it.

Seth smiled innocently at Izek, “Of course not.” But he knew the wizard wasn’t convinced, his hulking figure stood taller in response to her comment. He was a tall, strong man with shortly cropped black hair, a pale skin and light blue eyes; paired with his magic abilities and title, Izek was a very intimidating man. It was odd to Seth that Izek was so bothered by being called old when everything about him; his black hair, 6’-4” stature, broad shoulders and lean physique emanated “intimidating youth”.
Rolling his shoulders back Izek climbed the ladder to the deck of the ship, leaving Seth alone in the cargo hold once more. He watched the wizard’s retreat thinking that it was his own fault Blayze called him old. During their first term aboard the Mary-Ellen Windchester Blayze had curiously confronted the superior officer with the question of his age. Foolishly he had admitted that it had been so long that he had stopped keeping track.

Unfortunately for the wizard Blayze had found that information incredibly exciting and had run around the lower floors of the ship calling Izek a senile old man- a comment that had resulted with her having a prehensile tail for a day; another short lived mistake by the wizard in an attempt to punish his tormentor.

Above deck the ship’s bell rang twice signalling to the crew that the ship was safely docked in the harbour. Seth secured the gangway onto the pier and started hauling cargo off the ship crate by crate. He wasn’t the fastest crew member to unload the ship, but the Windchester had a limited crew and most crew members did multiple jobs and so most of the crew were currently busy on deck.
On his third trip off the ship Seth deposited a crate on a merchant cart waiting patiently nearby  and took a moment to look around for Blayze. He found her standing tall, balancing one legged on a fence post at the end of the pier. The wind curled around the end of the island and whipped her curly hair around her head.

“Are you crazy?” He called to her.

She shook her head and replied without opening her eyes. “Not today.”

“Get down and do your job.” Seth turned on the dock back to the ship as Izek crossed the gangway behind a load of fruit he was levitating before him. Izek stayed on the dock to talk to the man receiving the shipment as they waited for the Captain to arrive and deliver the papers to the merchants.

Seth ignored the men talking business and ran back to start unloading some of the lumber when Blayze ran past. Ignoring the gangway she leapt from the dock, into the ship’s cargo hold. She landed gracefully just like she had earlier and spun on her heels to show Seth another bright smile.

“Blayze!” Seth scolded. She hadn’t touched him as she ran passed, but he felt like he could lose his footing at any moment. She tossed her head back and laughed at his terrified expression.

“I’ll never get tired of that look.” She teased, looking at the remaining lumber, fruit, saplings and trunks that had to be unloaded. Izek and Seth hadn’t unloaded as much as she had expected without her.

On deck the Navigator, a fragile looking old man with a thunderstorm for hair named Dax peered over the railing and yelled down to Seth and Blayze. “Make sure my boxes make it to shore safely won’t you?”

Although she couldn’t see him from inside the ship Blayze looked back at the cargo and recognized the trunks as Dax’s personal belongings. Being mindful of the fragile luggage she picked up the nearest box. It was heavy, and she heard glass jars rattle around as she tried to lift it. If she had to she could lift it, but if whatever was inside was as delicate as she thought, it would be safer if Seth helped her carry it or if Izek levitated it off the ship. She picked up the smaller of the two boxes and carefully carried it to shore. She dropped it a little harder than she had meant to and heard the same rattling noise of glass hitting glass and wondered what Dax might have hidden in these trunks.

“Seth, I’m going to need help with the other trunk. Feels like he’s dealing in rocks again!” Seth nodded and walked the gangway into the ship. 

Knowing that Blayze would ignore the easier and safer route on board Seth kept his back to her, attempting not to encourage her careless behaviour. His back was turned as if he was ignoring her, but his ears listened to her every movement. He heard the soft leather soles of her boots scrape against the wood of the dock as she took her running start. He heard her small intake of breath as she jumped from the dock followed by silence as she soared through the air and then heard the thump as her feet landed on the wooden floor of the ship. But instead of her usual soft and tidy landing, he heard a squeak and scrambling footsteps follow the initial thump.

He spun quickly to see Blayze struggling to keep her footing. She was balanced precariously on the edge of the ship in danger of falling backward into the nothingness of the sky. Seth threw a hand out to her and pulled her away from the edge of the ship. His legs, arms and hands shook fiercely as he looked at her. He held on to her arm to steady himself a little, but more to confirm that she was actually safe and standing in front of him. He looked up at her and noticed with a knot in his stomach that she was smiling, He did not return her smile. He was looking at her very seriously. His glare was so intense that she was almost taken aback and would have lost her footing again in Seth hadn’t still been holding on to her.

“Seth? Are you alright?”

“Are you crazy?” He yelled. He focused on her eyes and she stared back defiantly.

“No, I’m not. What’s wrong with you?” Blayze tried to pull her arm free of Seth’s grasp but he was 
holding on too tightly. His grip was strong, but it wasn’t hurting her.

“You almost died!” His grip held fast.

“Yeah, I noticed. But I didn’t.”

“How are you so calm? If I hadn’t caught you and pulled you into the ship you would have fallen overboard and been lost forever! This isn’t like a ship over water Blayze. When you fall overboard here we can’t save you!”

“But you caught me and I’m fine.” She replied. This was not the answer Seth was looking for. Her calm remarks in response to nearly falling to her death were causing Seth to get increasingly agitated. 
“Seth you caught me. What’s the problem?”

“You could have died!”

“So?”

Seth let go of Blayze’s arm in his surprise. “You really don’t see a problem here? You can be so frustrating!” He started pacing the width of the cargo hold, running his hands nervously through his messy brown hair. “I hate watching you run around like your life doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” She put a hand on her hip. “I care for my life.” Her eyes were soft and sincere but Seth wasn’t looking at her. Her attitude was frustrating him. On the dock Izek had turned to watch the altercation. He seemed slightly amused by it, as if he were watching children fight over a game board instead of two adult fighting about reckless behaviour.  

“You don’t act like it.! You do these things, tempting fate with no care whether you live or die.” Seth’s face was red with anger.

“And?”

Seth stopped his pacing to stare at Blayze. Watching her vacant expression he realized she hadn’t understood anything he had said to her. He snarled and marched off the ship leaving Blayze alone in the shadows of the cargo hold thoroughly confused.


[To be continued.]

Did anything stand out to you positively or negatively?

-Brando

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