(DA) I'm Scared

I'm very scared of what people think of me. Which is odd, because most of the time, I don't care what anybody thinks. (I know what I just said is a contradictory statement.) Sometimes I feel like not caring and being self-confident is my superpower and other times, I get too close to my Kryptonite, and care far too much. And then, of course, there are just fears.

I'm scared that my boss doesn't trust me to do my job well.
I'm scared that I've had some serious memory loss, and one day I'll realize that I cannot remember something that's very important.
I'm scared that I'm not a very good writer.
I'm scared that my novels are immature and at the same time I'm scared that my books awesome and will be stolen by a hacker or commuter on a bus.
I'm scared that because I've never had a full time job, I may never have one and won't be a financial contributor to my family.
I'm scared that because I can't cook very well, my place is mess, and because I don't make much money that I am a bad wife.
I'm scared that my next MS relapse will break my spirits.
I'm scared that when the time comes, I won't be very good at juggling motherhood, wife-dome and staying healthy.
I'm scared that my MS will get in the way of having children.
I'm scared that if I want kids, and decide to adopt, that my friends and family won't understand.
I'm scared that we might not get picked as Adoptive Parents.
I'm scared that I'm not as strong as I think I am.
I'm scared that I've let my dog down and aren't giving him enough training and mental stimulation.
I'm scared that I've lost the opportunity to try some of my dreams.
I'm scared that I'm not enough.

On the bright side, there are somethings I'm never scared of: my family, my friends and my incredible husband; who supports me and helps me with my list of fears.

I have dreams, I have goals and although I'm full of fears of not being good enough, I don't doubt my ability to try. I don;t doubt my ability to reach for things and strive to prove my fears and doubts wrong.

-Brandolyn