(DA) Fan Fictions

I write stories about Sherlock Holmes that I pass off as "silly little fan stories" so that I don't try to take them too seriously. I write them for fun. I write them because I love the BBC's interpretation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's characters in the TV show Sherlock.

I love the show, so I write stories to fill the gaps between episodes and have added characters to the world. I find it fun, relaxing and exciting, but it's still 'silly'.

It's 'silly' except that people LOVE them.

I have a fan base.

I have people begging me via email for more chapters and stories. I may think they're fun and not serious but there are complete strangers who are very serious about them, and that makes me feel amazing.

I've never thought the effort or writing I put in to them is the best-of-my-best, but good enough to publish, and the people who love these stories make me want to become a better writer. To spend more time and effort on these stories.

But will spending more time and effort on these 'silly/ fun' stories lose the appeal for me? Will it change the meaning of them for me and take away the ease?

I love writing them, I really want to continue to enjoy them.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Antici

-pation.

(Please excuse my Rocky Horror joke) But Jason and I have been planning a trip for our 'pre-anniversary" and I'm looking forward to the getaway almost as much as I was looking forward to our Honeymoon.

I bet I won't be as prepared as I want; we're camping and I ALWAYS forget something, but as long as I have Jason, the dog, my sleeping bag and waterproof shoes I know I'll be fine. But I'm so excited I can't focus enough to pack!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Not tonight

I'm looking forward to spending the day at home tomorrow with the dog. It'll be writing and relaxing and I cannot wait for how productive I feel it's going to be. But I'm determined for that productivity to start tomorrow.

Why tomorrow?

I don't really know why tomorrow has so much promise, I just know that I have no desire to write tonight. So maybe tomorrow is my optimistic way of looking at not wanting to write right now.

Also, on an unrelated note: One of my favourite Television shows starts tomorrow "Castle" and I don't have cable... I'm surprisingly upset about missing this show on TV.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Doubt

Sometimes I doubt myself as a writer. And it's hard not to.

I pride myself on being a writer. When people ask me "What do you do?" I often reply, "I write Fiction for young adults." The people who ask often beam excitedly and want to know more. I give them small details (not enough to have the plot stolen from me; because I'm paranoid) and they always say "That sounds fantastic. I can't wait to read it. Let me know when it's published and I'll buy a copy!" 

How can they know my books are going to be good when they haven't read it? How can they have so much faith in my ability without knowing me or my writing style? How can they be so sure? 

Lots of people tell me my books are going to be well loved, but they haven't read them. So many people have faith in my skills, without needing proof, that it's hard to believe. 

With so much positivity, all I want to do is prove them right. I want to make sure that the faith they have in me wasn't misguided. I want to make them proud. And that's a lot of pressure. 

So with that much positivity and pride, it's not surprising I give in to self doubt sometimes. There are a lot of people I don't want to disappoint (myself included).

-Brandolyn

(DA) Handshake

I've often wished  I was more like Sherlock Holmes; not with the cocaine addiction or the social inabilities but able to look at a room and read the situation by minute details in my surroundings. I've been working on my powers of deduction and I feel like I'm getting pretty good, but I have no way to fact check my theories, so who really knows if I'm even close?

But I've often wondered about handshakes. How much can you tell about a person from the way they shake hands?

Why do I wonder? Well, I've been complimented on my handshake a lot. I mean A LOT. Friends, co-workers, strangers, Doctors even prospective employers have all complimented my handshakes.

So what is it that people like about shaking my hand?

I have a firm grip, but not tight and painful, and I make sure not to give a halfhearted shake when I take someones hand. Shaking hands is a sign of respect, but is also a form of touch- you go into someone else's space and share that space for a moment -and that takes a certain amount of trust.

I think my handshakes are firm, confident and respectful. But does that really come across in a handshake? Do many people have resistant, light handshakes that say "oh my goodness don't touch me, and get me out of this situation"?

Or do people just think I have soft skin?

-Brandolyn

(DA) Intimidation Factor

I'm not very tidy. I'm not super dirty, I'm just not tidy. I have a lot of stuff and not enough places to put it all.

I've slowly been getting rid of things I don't need or use, but it's a slow process. (I cannot believe how many boxes of clothing I've donated in the past year- and I still don't have enough hangers-) It's been a year in our 'new' place and I still haven't hosted our parents for dinner.

It's not that I don't want to host them, it's that I'm intimidated to admit that I still have boxes of stuff I haven't unpacked yet.

We're getting closer to having everything under control. And eventually I'll get over my issues.

-Brandolyn

(DA) I'm Scared

I'm very scared of what people think of me. Which is odd, because most of the time, I don't care what anybody thinks. (I know what I just said is a contradictory statement.) Sometimes I feel like not caring and being self-confident is my superpower and other times, I get too close to my Kryptonite, and care far too much. And then, of course, there are just fears.

I'm scared that my boss doesn't trust me to do my job well.
I'm scared that I've had some serious memory loss, and one day I'll realize that I cannot remember something that's very important.
I'm scared that I'm not a very good writer.
I'm scared that my novels are immature and at the same time I'm scared that my books awesome and will be stolen by a hacker or commuter on a bus.
I'm scared that because I've never had a full time job, I may never have one and won't be a financial contributor to my family.
I'm scared that because I can't cook very well, my place is mess, and because I don't make much money that I am a bad wife.
I'm scared that my next MS relapse will break my spirits.
I'm scared that when the time comes, I won't be very good at juggling motherhood, wife-dome and staying healthy.
I'm scared that my MS will get in the way of having children.
I'm scared that if I want kids, and decide to adopt, that my friends and family won't understand.
I'm scared that we might not get picked as Adoptive Parents.
I'm scared that I'm not as strong as I think I am.
I'm scared that I've let my dog down and aren't giving him enough training and mental stimulation.
I'm scared that I've lost the opportunity to try some of my dreams.
I'm scared that I'm not enough.

On the bright side, there are somethings I'm never scared of: my family, my friends and my incredible husband; who supports me and helps me with my list of fears.

I have dreams, I have goals and although I'm full of fears of not being good enough, I don't doubt my ability to try. I don;t doubt my ability to reach for things and strive to prove my fears and doubts wrong.

-Brandolyn

(DA) I forgot

Writing is normally on top of my list. I love it and can't get enough of writing and creating, but today I forgot my journal. I had a busy day and had a lot of time in transit, and I didn't have my journal.

How could I have been so distracted to forget one of the tools that allows me to get to my bliss?

-Brandolyn

(DA) A Bookshelf!

I assembled a bookshelf today. It shouldn't feel like a huge accomplishment, but it's about the only thing I did today- so it's huge. 

I assembled it, found space for it and now the challenge is what to fill it with. I wanted another bookshelf because the 2 we already have aren't enough. We have books and binders EVERYWHERE!

And yet I can't decide how to organize the shelves. 

Maybe that's a job for all day tomorrow. (Kidding)

-Brandolyn

(DA) To Do List

I have a very intimidating To Do List, rather, the list is so long and so old that I find it intimidating.  (Some items have been on this list for close to a year!)

And this weekend I crossed off 4 major- long time listers.

*feeling accomplished!*

-Brandolyn

(DA) Excerpt

This is a small excerpt that I'm quite happy with. I wrote it on the subway yesterday. 

It's a confrontation between two characters that spend a lot of time together (because of a mutual friend) but do not get along with each other. They are on a long trip and their mutual dislike comes to a head. 

Here's a little sample of what I'm working on. 

***

"Stop moving." Breena scolded as she re positioned the bandage around Bret's leg. "You'll never heal if you keep moving and ripping this open. You need to stay still. Triss, pass me another bandage." The blond hopped down from the cart carrying the small care kit and rushed to help the Sorceress. 

Bret crossed his arms stubbornly. "I am staying still! I barely move! If I'm moving it's because she's jostling the cart too much!" He pointed one finger across the evening's fire pit at Jane as she supervised the grazing horses. 

"Excuse me?" Jane turned on Bret shrill as ever. "Don't blame me for your miserable leg! Carts rattle, roads are uneven. It's not like I'm in charge of the road we're taking!"

"You're in such a rush!"

"My brother is missing!" Jane raced across the camp at Bret, lying by the fire, Breena still tending to his injured leg. Her chest heaved as she yelled, "My father is missing! Triss' mother is missing! I'm rushing for them, or have you forgotten because your family is safe at home?" The firelight reflected in her dark round eyes. Her height and muscular physique were normally intimidating; the darkness and her rage did nothing to lessen the effect. "Why are you even here Bret?" 

His eyes flicked momentarily to the young woman kneeling by the Sorceress bandaging his leg before looking back to Jane. "I wanted to make sure you were all safe." 

Jane's hands found her hips. "How were you planning on doing that from the back of the waggon? I'd love to see your heroics if those monsters come back for us!" 

"Jane that's enough/" Breena cautioned as she finished fastening the bandage. "He's injured because of those monsters. Because he was trying to save us from them." 

Jane scoffed. "Good job." 

"Jane, I said enough!" Breena turned away from Bret's leg and glared at Jane. 

"Breena it's fine. She obviously has a lot to get off her chest." 

"Ha! Playing the good guy again? Should I thank you for letting me continue to express myself? Should I thank you for trying to save us from that attack, or should I thank you for pretending to be a hero, insisting on coming along when you can't even walk and becoming a burden on us because of a ridiculously hopeless crush!"

Bret's cheeks went slightly pink, but he did not release Jane's gaze as she continued. 

"Or have you forgotten? The last time you touched her she screamed and ran away from you! If you want me to thank you for anything, then stop pretending you're a hero and admit why you're really here!"

Breena stood abruptly, holding out a hand to stop Jane's pacing. "Jane, go for a walk." 

"Why?" Jane spat back. 

Breena's voice was quiet but seemed to stifle the noises around the camp. Even the fire's crackle was muted when she spoke. "Because he can't, and if you don't, then you and I will have a fight. And you will lose." 

Leather boots shuffled in the grass as Jane contemplated whether she wanted to fight the Sorceress. Ignoring Bret completely, Jane stomped away into the woods.

Bret looked around the site to apologize to Triss; the innocent bystander to the confrontation, and found the site empty except for himself and Breena. Unsteadily he got to his feet, "Where's Triss?" 

***

I know it's out of context. But I'm really excited about it!

-Brandolyn

(DA) A little late

This post is a little late, but seeing as how I just got home and haven't slept yet, I'm counting it as my Friday September 19th post.

Today was fun and productive. I accomplished some items on my to do list that have been there for close to a year, went to see a play AND got a lot of writing done while commuting.

I have one passage I wrote that I'd love to share, but I'm exhausted and unwilling to take the time to copy it on to my computer at the moment. Perhaps tomorrow, after the race.

But earlier this evening I described it as "A great confrontation between two of my characters, well, maybe it's not great, but I like it!"

And I also realized one of my characters is not necessary in this book. He's constantly an after thought. (BUT he's a major part of the sequel) So somehow I have to rethink his involvement in the story.

-Brandolyn

(DA) A weekend of Adventure

This weekend Jason is off competing in another paintball tournament, this time in Chicago and I will be running a race at the zoo, going to see a historic play and getting as much writing done in my books as possible.

Good Luck Jason! I'm so proud of you! Wish I could have been there!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Election Time

It's time for regional Elections in our area, which means Mayoral Candidates, Councillors, lots of promises, lots of events and (to my great displeasure) candidate signs.

The sign pollution is OUTRAGEOUS! I hate seeing signs with names or faces every few feet wherever I go. They line the streets, every driveway and there's absolutely NO reason. There's no information about their campaign, nothing about who they are, just a face and a name. Over, and over and OVER. Every. Couple. Feet.

I hate it.

I can't wait till it's over. (Then I'll have to deal with the losing candidates taking FOREVER to take theirs signs down, and they always forget a few because there are SO many.)

-Brandolyn

(DA) Snipit

A sneak peek at part of the intro to my latest Sherlock story. Sherlock is married, and it's completely ridiculous. In this exerpt, Sherlock's wife; Brianna, is talking to John's wife; Mary, about why their husbands didn't come home the night before.

“Are you worried?” Brianna’s chiming voice asked over the phone. “Because they probably just got wrapped up in a case and forgot that we exist.” She trailed off realizing Mary might not understand. “I mean, I’ve startled Sherlock a few times. He’s come in, sat in his favourite chair and jumped sky high when I enter the room. Sometimes he looks at me for a moment before he recognizes me.” She laughed as if she was telling a joke, but the story sounded too real.

“He’s actually forgotten you?” Mary asked. Brianna sounded natural but Mary was scandalized on her behalf.

“Why do you think I painted the “Your wife lives here” painting I hung by the door to our flat?” 

-Brandolyn

(DA) Late night blogging

I struggle throughout the day to come up with anything with a little substance to post about so that I'm not panicked at 11:45pm trying to pump anything out just to fulfil my Duelling Amateurs quota.

The problem is that I get inspired to write in the evenings, while I stare at blank pages during the day. But when the night comes and I should write a blog post, I struggle to pull myself out of writing one of my novels long enough to write something else. That should be a good thing I guess; at least I'm writing stories again, and the idea was to improve my writing throughout the year of blog posts, but it's becoming a real challenge.

I feel like writing my Duelling Amateurs posts should be a habit by now, but I find myself avoiding them, and fretting over content much more lately.

But for the moment; before I go back to other writing, I'm just happy to have inspiration again.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Appreciation

It's a silly thing (or maybe it isn't) but I get email notifications when my online work has been read and favourited. I often hear very positive things about my first story; from my Sherlock stories, but I have never received any positive feedback on the others.

I admit the first one is my favourite as well. It's written better and very captivating, the next ones are not quite as strong, but the other day I got favourites for ALL of my stories. Someone likes the other ones so much they felt the need to tell me.

It was so flattering and made me feel better for the other stories; they may not be as good, but I thought they were still good enough to publish. It's nice to know someone else agrees.

Hooray for little victories!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Dance all Night

Friday saw a long anticipated wedding of two of my friends. It  was a small event but full of friends and family which made it rich in spirit and cheer and made for an incredibly memorable evening.

The weather was cold, so to keep warm the guests crowded the dance floor, and to be honest, I loved every moment. 2 days later and I'm still stiff from sore dancing muscles. It was a neat social experiment because although everyone knew the bride or the groom (there's quite a bit of geography that has separated mutual friendships before this weekend) their was no awkwardness. Apparently friendships forged on the dance floor can be incredibly strong!

I wish making new friends was always that easy!

-Brandolyn

(DA) How a kid made my day with 1 word

I had the pleasure of working with a lovely young family the other day. When I went up to greet the family the daughter; who couldn't have been more than 2 years old, looked up at me eyes wide and turner to her mother and said enthusiastically, "Elsa!"

Elsa is the older sister from Frozen,

Source

I was so flattered! I loved it! There's a reason I dressed up as her for the Movie Opening.  Kids can make your day by doing the SIMPLEST things. 

-Brandolyn

(DA) 13th Anniversary of 9/11

I can still remember the hushed and panicked voices of my teachers at school as they tried to hide the very real tragedy that hit New York in 2001 then the World Trade Centres were hit.

I remember lots of kids being picked up from school early and not knowing why.

I remember coming home and seeing my mother in front of the television, tears in her eyes as she watched the smoke billowing from the buildings, and then the roar when they crashed to the ground. I remember the screams, I remember the tears and I remember wondering what horrible movie could she possibly be watching. I couldn't fathom that anything that terrible could possibly be real.

I remember it sinking in.

I remember thinking of the individuals and the families affected by it.

I remember crying.

I cried for the lost lives. I cried for the unknown reason why? I cried for humanity. I cried because the world I knew, my world, had just become dark, scary and full of hatred.

Today people remember.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Tricks

I've forgotten how much fun I have training Washburn to do new tricks. 

Today we're working on Play Dead. I'm having so much fun and Washburn is EXHAUSTED from paying so much attention and working hard to learn something new. I cannot believe I forgot how much fun we both have with new tricks. We've been spending so much time working on old tricks that I lost sight of what it used to be like when everything was new. 

We'll have to keep working on silly new tricks- even just to get the dog super tired!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Teamwork

The idea of a team is that every person has a role on a team to get to a certain goal.

At the restaurant we each have tasks we have to do every day and stations we are in charge of to keep everything running smoothly, but when a team member forgets or neglects their duties someone else has to pick up the job, which means they have to do their work and pick up the slack from someone else. Which inevitably leads to missed duties.

I am so grateful for the support and help at the restaurant, but when someone forgets to do their duties it really lets the whole team down and everyone suffers from it.

Teamwork is simple- we sink or swim together.

-Brandolyn

(DA) A Lesson in Patience

Dog Training is all about patience and consistency. 

Washburn and I have an exercise we do that trains obedience and patience. We have a Dollar Store nearby and I like to go there for short walks for minor shopping trips and I always bring the dog. 

When we get to the store I tie his leash around a pole and snap to make him "sit", and then open my hand wide like a stop, and make him "stay". 

The exercise of the sit/stay is that he has to remain in the same place (no standing or moving- lying down is O.K) until I come back and give him the "release" command. 

I guess we haven't gone to the store recently, because Washburn and I were out of practise. To any passersby he would have appeared as a perfectly sweet and well behaved dog waiting for his owner to come out of a store, to me however, he was distracted and antsy. I had to leave the checkout line 6 times because he kept standing up. He never pulled on the leash, never tried to get close to people walking by, but he also wasn't listening to the command I had given him. 

(one of these instances was NOT his fault at all though) I tie Washburn up where I can see him from the checkout counter and I watch a woman leave the store, head straight for him, shove her hands in his face and bend down for "kisses". 

1st- Washburn does not give "kisses". We have allergies in the house and trained him (mostly) out of licking faces to avoid him eating allergens off the street and passing them to us. 

2nd- Never put your face in the face of a strange dog! (Also keep your face away out of respect for the animal.) 

3rd- Do not approach a tethered strange dog. Unless perhaps the dog is standing wagging his tail and and looking at you happily- but it's still risky. 

I ran out of the store because Washburn was backed into a corner, trying to remain in his "sit/stay" while this woman invaded his personal space and tried to coax him out of a command he was trying desperately to follow. 

Wash was sitting, his head back as far away from the woman as he could get, eyes wide (a very bad sign), trying to get away without moving from his "stay". I quickly saved him from her by running out of the store saying, "Excuse me! Do not touch my dog. He's in the middle of obedience training." 

She looked at me confused, as if to say, "But you weren't even with him." 

So I continued, "He has to stay right there until I finish shopping and has to ignore everyone who passes." 

Washburn still looked upset, so I released him and praised him for his good behaviour. That helped a little, but he didn't calm down until the woman left. I was watching and never saw her do anything terrible, but Washburn did not like her. 

Once she left, Wash went back into a "sit/stay" I went back in line and we left shortly afterwards. 

I had many people tell me "He's so well behaved!" "He's such a good dog!" "Wow! He's really well trained." in the store, and in the parking lot, And I have to say I agree. Although it wasn't a perfect exercise ( he got up 6 times), he never barked, never approached a person, never tugged on the leash, and when his space was invaded by a stranger he still listened to my command. 

The key to training is patience and consistency. When Washburn stood up,  I left my spot in line and calmly went out to re-position him and give him the command again. And again. And again. And again. I didn't get mad at him, I just reinforced my expectation by saying "No." The giving the command again. 

It's taken a year and a half to get to this point, and we;re still working on lots of things but it's nice to see improvement. 

We also do this at fast food places and I even have him "sit/stay" in glass vestibules at Tim Hortons. 

-Brandolyn

(DA) GotF Exceprt

An except from the chapter I've been working on in The Guardian of the Forgotten. 

The clouds that had been threatening to pour rain on the riders, unleashed their fury shortly after midday. In the midst of the raging storm, the only signal that it was midday was the rumbling of their stomachs. The party had skipped a full breakfast in hopes of making up time on the road; they had little more than a handful of crackers and berries scavenged from their last stop to tide them over until sundown.  

And that's about as much as I can share at the moment.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Night Shift

I love my job as a server. I adore the social aspects and chatting with strangers.

I do not love the rude tables, or entitled children.

Yesterday, although it was a busy and trying day was so full of learning that I can't help but be excited when I look back on it.

I opened the restaurant (as usual); which I love, and when we got a big party, we were all busy- but that's what the team is for. Then, we got 4 more parties (who didn't call ahead), and I had to stay late and help out. No problem. Lots of work, little pay out, but great experience. Then, I got to come back for an evening shift... I cannot remember my last evening shift -let alone a Friday night- and of course the worst storm in years comes, right when we are PACKED. Power outage, completely dark, no music, just eating by the light of cell phones. I learned to use an old imprint based credit card machine, and was shocked that 99% of our guests stayed and wanted to wait until the power came back on for their food. HA!

It was Friday. It was BUSY, and stormy and I am SO thankful for our amazing team. Everyone helped each other and we worked like a well oiled machine, even without power. It's amazing to see.

-Brandolyn

(DA) So Proud

Jason is a competitive Paintball Player. He's been playing tournaments all year, (some international) and the Final Speedball Competition is happening in Ottawa this weekend. Unfortunately the logistics didn't workout so that I could go cheer from the sidelines, but I'll be cheering from home because I know how much dedication has gone in to this season of Paintball. 

I am so excited that he's made it to the Finals and so proud of him!

My man, an international, competitive paintball player, and he still wants to hang out with me. 

So proud of all your hard work and dedication. It's paid off. 

Kick Butt Babe!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Oups!

(For the 4th) Apparently I missed a post yesterday.

I've been writing in my journal and writing bits and pieces for my online stories that I guess I just figured, "I wrote today." and just wrote it off, even though I didn't publish any writing online. Unfortunately what I've been writing isn't "publish ready" yet. But trust me, it's there.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Lazy Ways

I often surprise myself with my laziness.

I don't mean sitting on the couch and watching hours of TV. (I don;t meant o say that I never do that, but what I did today was, for lack of a better word, ridiculous.

Today I had a Doctor's appointment. The Doctor's office is not far away and I had planned on biking. The bike ride would take me less than 10 minutes to get there and less than 10 minutes to bike back. When I left my house and got to my garage I realized I had forgotten my bike lock key.

I sighed, and instead of going inside to get my key, I decided to walk to the Doctor's. This walk took me more than twice the time to get there (30 minutes) and 30 minutes home.

Today I decided to do 1 hour of exercise, instead of 20 minutes of exercise because I was too "lazy" to go back inside and get a bike lock key.

Explain that logic! Ha!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Obsession

I have a bit of an obsession with feathers and wings. I have ever since I started writing my first book in grade 9. Feathers and wings are symbols that I love to surround myself with.

I have jewelry, scarves, and even journals emblazoned with feathers or wings, but today I came across these BEAUTIFUL shawls. Found on Etsy or HERE

Aren't they gorgeous!?

My next obsession is these lovely shawls!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Exhaustion time

This weekend was so much fun, but the weather (and squirrels taunting the dog throughout the night) made sleep seem like a nearly impossible task.

As such, my writing and creativity seems dulled. I look forward to a good night's sleep and the return of my creativity and energy in the morning.

-Brandolyn