(DA) I knew there was a reason...

Apart from the idea of 'tips' I knew there was a reason I wanted to work as a server. I wanted to be able to relate to the people who handle my food in a restaurant, and know all the steps that go in to good service. That way I can really appreciate their hard work, and can empathize when something doesn't go according to plan.

I've been at this job for nearly 2 months and I've already gain a whole new perspective on the work that goes into working at a restaurant.

Things I never thought of before:

-Servers are busy! They often have many more tables than the one you are at.
-If you have a party, especially one with dietary restrictions, call ahead to the restaurant so they can prepare for you.
-If you have a coupon, get a discount, or free meal, if you enjoyed the service your server gave you, tip on the price without the discount. Servers don't make anywhere close to minimum wage and they give a percentage of their tips to the bartenders, hostesses and the kitchen staff.
-Tip on a bottle of wine. Servers uncork it and serve it. It's the same as we do for your beer.
-If you have an allergy, let your server know. They will go out of their way to accommodate you. If you have a food sensitivity, let your server know. Instead of saying, "No ranch", say, "I am lactose intolerant, so I won't need the ranch sauce." Or, if you just don't like something, tell your server. If you don't like bacon on your Caesar salad, let them know.
-Cooks rarely get praise for their hard work. If you liked your meal, tell the server to thank the kitchen staff.
-Kitchen staff work on their feet, in the heat, for HOURS, without breaks. When your tummy rumbles hungrily, they are working, and they keep working till you are long gone.
-Dishwashers are highly underrated.

In conclusion, working in a restaurant is like working with people who aren't thanked enough for their work and don't get paid enough for all that they do. Just because the patrons don't the work, doesn't mean it's not happening. Be courteous to your waitstaff and thank them for a job well done!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Unlikely Encounter

I often use time grocery shopping to pre-write the next part of a story I'm working on. I see my characters duelling over oatmeal boxes or overturning the fruit bins in a flight to escape. I find lots of inspiration at the grocers.

Today however, I ran into one of.my high school English teachers. She was a huge supporter of my writing, and after seeing her again it was like a wave of energy and creativity hit me and all I wanted to do was pour my soul on to paper right there so I could show her what I've been doing.

Some teachers are ever inspiring.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Count your blessings

Out for a drink with my parents and a good group of their friends, I was able to connect with my uncle about how blessed we are in the people we choose to surround ourselves. This group of people is one group we have in common, but we recounted the incredible bonds we have with our friends and couldn't help but feel extremely lucky.

We talked about people who understand you, especially when you are in a fit of giggles and incoherent to the rest of the world. We revelled in the fact that our friends wake up laughing and go to sleep laughing, and any day with them is full of belly aches from over exerted happy muscles.

We felt sorry for people who don't know this kind of bond. People who have good friends, but don't know the 'irreplaceable' ones. The ones your heart misses when you've been separated for more than a day. The ones you think of when you have news, but instead of calling them you come up with a 'plan', some foolhardy and ridiculous way to break the news (good or bad) to them that always ends up in days of preparation for said shenanigans.

These are the people you would follow around the world. The people who would follow you. The people you wish you lived closer to because you know that every day with them would make life even brighter.

But these are also the people you don't necessarily get to see as much as you want. Some of them are too busy with work, or young families, or live far away, but these are the people you treasure. These are the people who you look forward to seeing and whose memories fill your happiest dreams.

These are the blessings we often forget to count.

-Brandolyn

(DA) One of 'those' days

I am having a sore, miserable and grumbly day. Work was fine; everyone I work with is lovely, but everything else just made me want to curl up in to a ball and wait for tomorrow.

My friend sympathized and showed me a picture of a pillow that is printed with

"If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. But if she starts to growl, back away to a safe distance, and throw chocolate at her." 

EXACTLY. That is my kind of day.

Bring on the chocolate.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Begining and Ending

I believe that one of the many keys to a good book is a great beginning and a strong ending; those are the big parts of books that people remember. I learned today that the beginning and ending of an experience is also very important in the service industry. 

I sat my first party of 10 today, and it's no secret that I felt overwhelmed. The group had requested me by name (flattering) and as it turns out, I had served them before; just a smaller number of them. 

The sitting was not ideal. They weren't pleased with the wait; grumbly stomachs have a hard time understanding normal cooking times, and were surprised when their food contained allergens (after I had asked them specifically if there were any allergies or food sensitivities at the table.) 

BUT I handled myself well and with the support of my manager, they were happy by desert. 

The part that made my stressful day worth it, was when the Birthday girl and her cousin went into our toy chest and got a hair clip out for me. Then they tied it to my apron. It was adorable. After they left, I was cleaning in the kitchen and another server called me back in to the dining room where I saw the two girls waiting for me again. They were holding a handful of flowers for me to thank me for all my hard work. 

Priceless. 

Beginning: "We loved your service last time and requested you today! We're so excited to be here for the Birthday girl!"

Ending: "Thank for your hard work. Here are some flowers, we'll see you next time." 

Everything in between pales in comparison to the memories of the beginning of the encounter and the ending. 

-Brandolyn

(DA) Great day

I watched co-workers come and go throughout the day at work. When they were leaving they would sing about all the drinking they were going to do when they got home.

Now, I'm finally home, enjoying a drink with my wonderful hubby and our buddy Alex.

I had a great day at work and now I am relaxing like I feel I deserve.

Enjoy the positives!

-Brandy

(DA) Another long day

Only 14 hours today. 

Phone battery has died, it didn't make it throughout the day; whether that's from 2048, obsessive selfies throughout the day, pictures of the cast and set or just a terrible battery, I'll never know. 

My feet are fine. My legs are fine. My arms are fine. 

My head is fuzzy. My eyes are grainy. My stomach is not impressed that I didn't pack my own Gluten Free lunch. 

I'm ready to sleep for weeks but my brain is so excited that I got to work on the set of a commercial today! New experiences abound!

We shot the spots in this huge house, which I got lost in SEVERAL times. The biggest difference between working on a commercial set and all the work I've done in Theatre is mostly the terminology, everything else is pretty basic: stay out of the way, stay quiet when filming, work fast, hurry up and wait, attention to detail. 

GREAT DAY working with great people. I hope I get the chance to do it again. 

-Brandolyn

(DA) Exhaustion

What is more exhausting? Running a 3+ mile race with obstacles, or a 13 hour day on your feet?

I know which one should be more exhausting; the race, because of the physical exertion, mental strain and being out in the sun and heat. Then why is it, that after a day pulling out costume pieces and having actors try them on, that I feel twice as tired as I did after the Spartan Race?

Is it just the fact that the Spartan was less than two hours, compared to 13 hours running around? Or, is it strictly that I trained for the Spartan, and haven't been training for the wardrobe work I do periodically?
Or is it a combination of the two?

All I know is that I'm glad I have the day off to recover before my even crazier day on set tomorrow.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Commercial prep

Today I spent the day among so many costume pieces I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.

 I started the day in a cramped space with more costumes than I could imagine, then after packing up the car; completely stuffed, we got set up in a warehouse full of costumes so big I couldn't even see the end of the warehouse. It was like seeing heaven, then being told, no, that's just the waiting room into heaven, and then getting into heaven and not being able to comprehend it's magnificence.

All of this happened before we started meeting the talent and the director, client, etc.

Incredible day of fittings, I can't wait to be on set Friday!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Mother Hen-ing

I've been writing on paper lately and haven't had the desire to copy that writing to a soft copy on my computer; when I do, I'll share it. In the mean time, I've had two instances lately that made me revert to 'mother hen', like I used to in High school and University.

Instance 1- a co-worker (skinny, pretty young lady) came in to work with a MASSIVE iced coffee, shake, drink thing, with whipped cream and caramel drizzle. It looked delicious. I said, "Wow, are you sharing?" and she laughed, took a gulp and said, "I had one of these for breakfast, skipped lunch and this is dinner. Yum." I immediately wanted to sit her down and give her a bowl of veggies. I wanted to scream, "NO! Diabetes is a real problem!" but instead I chuckled and said suggestively, "I hope you find time for a real meal tomorrow.

The next instance was when a young man sat  down ordered a coffee and lots of cream and sugar. I brought a regular sugar caddie filled with at least 12 sugars, and filled his saucer with 4 creams. He politely asked for more cream and I came back with a small plate of creams. During his meal, he asked for 2 more coffees, more cream and more sugar. He must have used 8 creams and 10 sugars per coffee.  Again I just wanted to cry out "Um, no, that's not very good for you." and give him a glass of water, or apple juice and a plate of carrots. 

I know I've been guilty of eating badly, I still do, but I'm starting to see the patterns of unhealthy-ness in the people that surround me. I wish there was more I could do to help them than just, 'suggest' that they eat better.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Fear, Failure and Accomplishment

I just watched 60 seconds of Jim Carrey's commencement address to a graduating class. I have no idea who is graduating, what school it is, or in which country he is speaking, but his 60 Seconds are wonderful. 

He reminds us that our decisions are made from fear or love (or fear disguised as practicality). He said one of the lessons he learned from his dad: his dad didn't believe he could make a living as a comedian, so he took a 'safe' job as an accountant. Then he lost that 'safe' job. 

Jim Carrey said, you can still fail at the 'safe' thing, so why not try, and maybe fail at the thing you LOVE!

Wise words Jim. Thanks for the reminder. 

-Brandolyn

Watch these inspiring 60 seconds >>>here<<<

(DA) How To Train Your Dragon 2: Review

My latest review of my current favourite movie at the Box Office: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2!

>>>CLICK HERE<<<

-Brandolyn

(DA) Celebrating Life

Today I got to celebrate my best friend's sister's baby shower. 2 years ago I got together with the same group of ladies and celebrated her bridal shower, and now she's glowing even more brightly as a mom-to-be than she was as she was about to be married; all laughter and smiles.

I feel so blessed to have shared in her bridal shower, her wedding and now her baby shower. This is an amazing couple who come from two incredible families and I know this child will be surrounded by so much love throughout it's life.

I've heard people complain about baby showers, saying "it's just a party because people want presents" but I think that is far off base. We deal with heart break and devastation on a daily basis across the world: wars, famine, floods, disease, shootings, robberies, you name it. There's so much negativity in the world that something so beautiful as growing your family deserves to be celebrated.

A baby shower is not about 'gifts', a baby shower is about celebration and congratulations for a new family and a new life.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Little Victories

Today, for the first time in a long time I completed my days To Do list; clothing alterations, appointment bookings and house hold chores, all without ever thinking a single negative thought.

This may not seem like such a big thing to other people, but I often feel bored and wish I was doing something else while I complete chores. But today I cleaned, did laundry and prepared supper without a single wish for anything else. I was perfectly content doing something that often bores me, which I take as considerable personal growth.

And the fact that I was able to complete everything on my To Do List, shows that I am getting even better at managing my time.

Hurray for little victories!

-Brandolyn

More Spartan stuff

Also on the SPARTAN wave length, this picture is amazing.

My friend and I agreed to complete the SPARTAN Sprint together and we cheered each other, supported each other and made it over the flaming finish line together!

-Brandolyn

(DA) Enjoy the good things

It's easy to lose track of the positive things in your life.

Today I must have been in a good place because for all the plans I had made, things didn't go as planned and I didn't lose my smile. I had planned to spend the evening with a highschool friend. We were planning to get home from work, meet up and head to the theatre. Instead, I forgot my phone at home when I went to work and had no way to tell her I might be running late (I don't have her number memorized), then when I get home I find out her mother has the car and isn't home yet- she was my ride. So, instead of getting upset that her mother has errands to run and has deviated from her regular schedule, we planned to go to another theatre and see a later screening.

As it was we were still late, and the movie had begun before we got there, but we got great seats at a theatre where the tickets are cheaper and thoroughly enjoyed the movie- I will review X-MEN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST soon- How could we be upset when we were just happy to get out of the house and see each other, enjoy a film, and laugh heartily together.

Look at the people you surround yourself with. The good ones keep your spirits up no matter what, the bad ones just drag you down. Keep the good ones around! Smiles and laughter are always better than a frown. Simple things they have done for me, bought me and memories they have shared with me make me smile and feel loved. I cherish my friends, more than they will ever know.

-Brandolyn

(DA) To know who someone is

In one of my fanfiction stories I refer to the idea of knowing "what someone is" and "who someone is". Many people would see this idea as the same thing but I know it's very different; kind of like looking at the person who delivers your mail as: a postal worker, instead of a parent, sibling or romantic.

This is the kind of thinking that separates races and sexes. It's like judging an book before you read it, or saying you don't like something just because a friend or parent said the same thing. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It's almost impossible to really 'know' a person. You can know information like: the fact that they love animals, or wanted to be a firefighter when they grew up. You can know they're afraid of the dark, or still sleep with a stuffed bear.

But to know "who someone is" in the most intimate way possible is to know that they hope for miracles when the lights go out, or know that they cry for people they don't know. To know that daily activities hurt to perform and know the smiling mask is not for their own sake, is special. To know that unwavering optimism is a prayer for light in the darkness, that laughter hides pain and that a touch on the leg is more intimate than a kiss in the park.

To know who someone is takes a life time, and not everyone gets to see it. The relationship that strives to see who each other is, is something to cherish. It's the ultimate goal. And if you aren't seeking it, try.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Transformers trailer review

Check it out here!

Short and sweet!~

-Brandolyn

(DA) Mind Over Matter

One of the most challenging things to do in life is to complete a task while in pain (physical or mental), but somehow we often manage to power on. 

We've all heard stories of women enduring hours and hours of childbirth, Olympians completing races on broken limbs, people struggling with severe depression but holding on to life, or ballerinas practising so long and hard their toes bleed. I have never done anything that extreme and I commend the people who have. It's an amazing thing to be so driven that excruciating pain cannot deter you from your goal. 

My experience doesn't compare to those at all, but it makes me feel like this weekend I got a 'tiny' glimpse of that drive. Racing the Spartan through the burn, and today working on feet so sore my shoes were full of blood when I took them off at the end of the day. I don't know why they rubbed so badly today, but at the end of an 8 hour shift my feet had had it and I just wanted to be done and back in my runners.

I know I will one day encounter an obstacle that will seem so great a challenge and so painful it will test my determination, but I also know I am stubborn enough to meet that challenge and push through it. 

-Brandolyn

(DA) Spartan: The Day After

It's amazing how during something so physically exhausting as the Spartan Sprint, you can feel so good. 

Leading up to the race I was sick and didn't run or train at all for a week. I was worried I wouldn't do as well as I wanted to in the race, or feel too sick to complete it, but the opposite was true. Out in the heat and the sun I felt amazing! The running forced me to breath well and I felt the best I had all week. 

Today when I woke up all my cold symptoms returned. Stuffy head, sinus pain, cough, headaches, sore throat etc, and then compound those symptoms with the increasing stiffness in my muscles from the race. Every time I sneeze my body tightens so much I feel like my muscles are as big and tight as a body builder!

The euphoria and excitement of running and completing the race is still there, but now that the muscle stiffness has started to set in (opening doors hurts too) it's getting harder and harder to convince others of how much fun I had. 

They see my muddy pictures, my bruises, cut and bloody knees and rope burns and wonder "Why?"

And I answer them, "Because now I don't have to wonder 'if' I can, and will never regret having not tried it." 

 (WATCH THE VIDEO HERE) I don't think I made it in to any of the video, but the footage in the link is what I ran yesterday. 

-Brandolyn

(DA) I AM SPARTAN!

I completed the Spartan Sprint today. It was held at Brimacombe Ski Resort in Oshawa.

We were never told how long the race was but my guess is 5-7KM with 20+ obstacles on the course.

It was a new experience and I couldn't have done some of the obstacles without the assistance of my fellow racers, but wow, what a rush! It turns out, I'm much more fit than I thought I was. I went up and down that mountain several times, carrying weights, climbing walls, jumping obstacles, climbing obstacles, crawling through mud, under mesh and barbed wire, crawling through ice, and by the end of the race I just wanted to line up and do it all again.

My teammates were so tired, and I felt like I had done something wrong because I felt alright afterwards. But this sort of race isn't a sprint, as much as it says so in the same, this is an endurance 'event'. You finish the race sunburned, covered in sweat and mud, with cuts, bruises and rope burns you didn't even know you had.

I loved it. I would love to do it again. I look forward to next year.

SPARTAN SPRINT 2014--- 7(ish)KM    20+ obstacles: 1hr 46 min

-Brandolyn

(DA) Terror and excitement

Tomorrow I compete in a race that is a 7-12km race with up to 25 obstacles.

I am so excited and terrified at the same time. My brain feels like it's in over load just thinking about tomorrow and I can barely formulate coherent sentences.

Look forward to my post tomorrow when I talk about the challenges of this sort of race, with a cold and sore ankle.

Wooo!

-Brandoolyn

(DA) Cravings

I don't often crave foods. Usually I'm the kind of person who sees a chocolate bar and thinks, "Oooh, yummy!" and then thinks, "No, I don't really need that." and ignores the chocolate bar.

But I've been sick for the last couple days and all I've wanted was an Iced Cappuccino. Naturally I have to avoid cold drinks and dairy to quicken my recovery, but then why is an Iced Cappuccino the only thing I want?

I can have everything else in my kitchen, and I'm not even up for travelling to get an Iced Capp, but I want one to magically appear in front of me.

It's an interesting thing to want what you shouldn't have. Often I find these kinds of cravings disappear as soon as I decided I don't want them, the problem is this time I still want it.

Oh well, I'll be healthy soon and can breakdown my resolve and have one then.

-Brandolyn

(DA) Sick and lacking creativity

Another sick day in the drought of creativity.

Why is it that when I have time on my hands, I cannot create anything of substance?

I've got my drawing pencils out, my sketchbooks, my journals, my favourite books but nothing seems to inspire me. Nothing seems to manifest in my work. I'm creating mediocrity between naps and puppy cuddles.

I know my focus should be sleeping, drinking fluids and taking it easy, but it's not easy when I have a creative to do list that's begging to have a couple items crossed off of it.

Maybe tomorrow will be more productive.

-Brandolyn

(DA) The Adam and Eve Project

This story could also be called "How far we have fallen" but I just couldn't choose.

I feel as though I've been working on this story too long. I've rewritten parts so much that I can no longer tell if it is coherent. I would really appreciate feedback on this story. Have I missed informing the reader about anything? Do you have any major questions when the story has finished?

Let me know after you've read it.

***

The Adam and Eve Project

I don’t qualify for the Adam and Eve Project. Bad knees, dry hair, an allergy to bee stings and apparently, high cholesterol kept me out of contention.  I’m definitely not the worst subject out there, but I guess I’m not the best either.

I know the researchers could tell I wanted it . The nurse who came in to tell me I didn’t qualify sounded genuinely apologetic. I guess they don’t get too many applicants like me; nowadays you’re either healthy or you’re not. I thought I was as fit as we come.

Apparently not.

I’m one of the President’s Officers. I’ve read that my regiment used to be called ‘Police’ but we haven’t distinguished different kinds of Officers in decades. The President has a personal guard of Officers, his territories have Officers and the territories’ towns have Officers, but we’re all disposable and can be replaced by anyone on the roster, at any time. I think it’s because people get sick so often.

That’s what got the President to agree to fund the Adam and Eve Project, and, how I found out about it.

Adam and Eve is the name of the project that is supposed to ‘save the human race’. It sounds dramatic but it’s not. The idea is that Doctors would screen potential parents  and healthy offspring would be catalogued and receive annual checkups to determine that they are still healthy specimens.  Their families would also receive financial compensation to encourage healthy lifestyles; no smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, healthy food etc. If you qualify, you even get an allowance for food. You get a special card that only works in grocery stores so you can’t spend the money on anything else. And of course, if you don’t follow the rules; if you’re caught smoking, or your healthy kid gets a disease, you are no longer part of the program and all the financial assistance and status goes away. The idea was that these healthy children would start to repopulate our healthy genetic gene pool. There were plans for large donations for an ‘Eve’-a daughter of the program- to marry an ‘Adam’- a son of the program, etc. but it was all based on willingness. The idea was to try and rebuild a healthy human genome. Don’t get me wrong, I would have appreciated the food allowance, but that’s not why I applied.

I had heard a rumour that there were men who qualified as ‘healthy’ for the program that had donated the necessary biological component to impregnate single ‘healthy’ women for the project.

The term ‘single woman’ bothers me. I’m not single, I’m just alone. 

I had a husband. His name was Ben, and he was an Officer too. We partnered together for years. I knew Ben always had my back and I always had his. It was safe. But when I got pregnant and had to stay home on leave Ben got a new partner; a young man named Steve. I don’t blame Steve, I never did, but Ben’s loss was devastating. It tore a hole through me that terminated our pregnancy. That’s why I don’t like ‘single’, because I’m not, I’m married, Ben’s just not with me anymore. In my mind I’m still married, and I miss my baby. A ‘donor’ seemed like the perfect solution, but I don’t qualify.

Instead of mourning what could have been, I continued to work and when a posting for an Officer opened up at the clinic where I had applied, I rushed to take the job. I may not qualify for the project myself, but I believe in Adam and Eve, and even if I don’t qualify for the project, I could spend my time protecting the few that do.

About a year into my service at the Clinic a few papers started reporting on The Adam and Eve Project and I don’t know where they got the sources for their articles, but they got most of the facts wrong. These newspaper articles enraged several groups in small towns throughout the territories. Some of the groups were upset because they didn’t feel they got equal rights to apply to the program, others were upset that their tax money was feeding other families, and others were furious because they thought there was some kind of genetic manipulation and invasion of human rights happening inside The Project. This misunderstanding spurred man hunts for these families and the Adam and Eve children. Parents were beaten and children were torn from their families or, in very terrifying cases, murdered.

I remember sitting in the clinic at the end of one of my shifts and watching the President’s speech. I was dressed in my civvies, sitting in the clinic waiting room; my uniform was in the duffle bag at my feet. The President was mesmerizing; his deep voice echoed through the clinic pleading with the vigilante factions to stop the bloodshed. He explained in simple terms how the project works, but I guess the factions weren’t listening.

A bullet shattered the waiting room windows and 3 guys; I assume they were men, but one was slight and could have been a woman, wearing Halloween masks, holding hunting rifles and hand guns stormed in. There’s shouting and screaming all around and I’m the only person trained to function in this kind of environment, and my uniform is hidden in my bag.

I listen to the intruders and get on the ground with the rest of the civilians, but not before noting a few details. One man wears glasses over his mask, another’s hand is shaking; I can hear the rifle shudder with his nerves. He also has a hitch in his walk, presumably because of a bad knee. The third man walks ahead of the others holding a Glock. The gun is well cared for and doesn’t shake in his hand. He is used to wielding a firearm, and he’s the leader of the party.

Suddenly I wish I was still in uniform. John, my counterpart who’s working this shift is an older officer. He has a young son with a heart condition. He’s experienced, but he’s on his rounds and could be overcome by a surprise 3:1 attack.

I don’t know why these men are here, but I have a guess. I need to get these men out of here before they hurt anyone.

With my head on the ground I hear one of the men shuffle off. Shaky Rifle Hand is still pacing nearby, his bespectacled accomplice has disappeared after the sure handed leader.  I know he’ll be back shortly after I make my move, so I prepare for that.

My muscles pulse, ready for me to put them to work. When I hear the rattling gun by my ear again I release the breath I’m holding and kick out the back of Shaky Rifle Hand’s knees with my left leg. He falls with a grunt and as he turns to me my fist collides with his jaw. I watched his eyes glaze over as he fell backward onto the laminate flooring. I grabbed Shaky Hand’s rifle  and stood by the hallway waiting for Glasses to come back in and investigate the noise. Just like I had anticipated, he came rushing back in. His gun was up, but not directed toward anything or anyone in particular. He moves slowly; he can barely see out of the mask. Pushed up against the wall, I’m out of his view. I raise the rifle and strike the back of his neck with the blunt end of the gun. He falls with a thud; his glasses skid across the floor. I move quickly to relieve him of his firearm before telling everyone in the waiting room to get out. Dozens of big round eyes thank me as they run out the main doors.

Once the bystanders are moving I decide not to spend any more energy on them, there’s still another man with a gun in the clinic who’s searching for the parents and children I have promised to protect. I put the rifle over my shoulder and hide the handgun at my side; it’s lighter than the one I’m used to carrying.

I’m still dressed as a civilian and that instills little confidence.

I clear everyone out I meet as I approach the Emergency Delivery and Enviro Neonatal ward of the A&E wing. Their hasty footsteps fade like rain back down the hallway.

I can hear shouting and screaming and pick up my pace a little. I recognize Steve’s commanding voice; most Officers master that voice after a few days on the job, I can’t hear every word he says but his voice is steady. He’s with the Leader. I can hear him too; he’s anything but calm but Steve’s trying to talk him down.

The voices grow loud again. Shouting, screaming and culminating with a pair of gunshots. The hospital falls silent as the echoes of the gunshots reverberated through the halls.

I hate the sounds a gun makes; that snap and bang with a stinging echo, just reminds me how far humanity has fallen.

My heartbeat quickens as I round the corner. I raise my side arm and open the door to my wing of the hospital. Steve is nowhere in sight. Neither are any of the nursing staff. Silently I hoped they followed procedure and hid everyone. So far it looks promising.

The first thing I smell is gunpowder, even before I smell the blood. It lingers thick on my tongue. It left a metallic taste in my mouth. My stomach knots as I force myself into the next room; it goes against my instincts to run toward danger- it’s the same every time.

I force myself around the last corner but I’m not prepared for the sight in front of me. I don’t know what I was expecting. There was blood everywhere and the room was silent; except for the steady tone on a heart rate monitor. The gunshot echo in my memory and make me sick to my stomach. How far we have fallen.

My eyes lock on Steve’s first. Dull and unblinking, but his skin is still warm when I reach for his wrist. There’s no one home.

The Leader lies nearby, his masked face lying to the side the way no living creatures could.

Bodies litter the room- big bodies, little bodies and most heartbreaking; bodies without names. These were my friends, people I worked with and people whose lives I envied. And now they were all silent and still. This was the life I wanted and it was bleeding out around me. I had seen them all cry and laugh and had heard their first sounds. Now there was nothing.

I shed a few tears for Steve. And one for each of the faces I saw; Erin, Angela, Dave, Monica, Carl, Alex and Carrie. Looking back at the sad crooked creature bleeding on the floor, I shed a tear for it too. 

Although it was nothing more than an animal now, even animals who have lost their way deserve pity.

I should have gotten here quicker and done more to try and save them. But what more could I have actually done?

Alone in the quiet I wanted to cry, to scream, to throw my fist through the wall- anything to distract me from the faces. But I’m suddenly too tired for that.  My shaking knees give out and I fall to the floor. It takes a while for my ears to adjust to the silence of the room. The steady tone of the heart rate monitor had somehow blended with the silence. When I’ve finally calmed down enough for my breathing to relax and the pounding in my head to subside I heard it; like a gasp in a graveyard.

Shakily I force myself upright and follow the gasps around one of the beds, where I found one of the nurses huddled on the ground trying to breathe quietly.

“Sophie?” I call softly. She jumps at the sound of my voice and I crouch in front of her so she can see my face. She’s been shot; she’s pale and sweaty and contorts her face as she looks at me trying to get her eyes to focus. When they finally co-operate her eyes hold mine for a moment before she relaxes.

“Perfect.” She says. “It’s you.”

As her eyes roll to the back of her head I help her get comfortable. She’d been huddled like a football player, but relaxed enough to reveal a bundle under her body; about the size of a football, except warm and squishy, squirming silently in her receiving blanket. Sophie’s eyes close as I reach for the child. I toss away my firearms before I hold her. This being is too innocent to be exposed to any more corruption.

On the ground, beside one of the beds, I hold her in my arms. She snuggles into the curve of my chest. I have no idea how she had survived the attack, how she could be so calm in that environment or how long I sat there with her.

When I could finally bring myself to move, I noticed the tiny plastic bracelet on her tiny wrist. Tears well in my eyes again and I kiss the fuzz on the top of her head. Her name is Hope, and I can’t think of anything more accurate. 

***

What did you think? 

-Brandolyn

(DA) The Amazing Spider-Man 2 review

Check out what I have to say on ALTERNATESCREEN!

If you've seen it, let me know your thoughts on the movie!

-Brandolyn

(DA) At least I tried

Sometimes it's hard to figure out how to handle a situation. Your conscience can say one thing, social norms another, empathy, sympathy, timidity, insecurity, modesty, apprehension, whatever it is that you are fighting with in your head, sometimes it's a challenge to figure out how to act in certain situations.

My instincts are often 'rush in to help'.

Today, while leaving a movie I saw what looked like a dog wandering down the rows in the theatre parking lot. I exclaimed "Oh, look a dog!" I thought it might have jumped out of a car. So we circled our car around looking for it to see if we could help. After a few moments we saw it limping away and realized it was a coyote, and it was limping. It was limping badly enough it wouldn't put any weight on one of it's back legs; I assume it had been struck in the parking lot.

I pulled out my phone and called 911, I figured an injured wild animal wasn't a great thing to have wandering around restaurants and movie theatres; lots of people, lots of excitement, lots of chances for people to get hurt. Surprisingly the police said they couldn't do much, and gave me the number for animal control (actually, after calling I realized the number was wrong.)

We followed the injured coyote across a major street and toward the patio of a Milestones, and that's where we lost it. It disappeared into the shadows of the night, but I went in to speak with the manager of the restaurant to warn him about it anyway.

I guess he's not much of a dog person, or really worried about his staff because his response to me saying "I saw an injured coyote cross the street and come down toward your patio, you should keep a look out and call animal control, sorry I tried but the number I got is wrong." was "It's weird it would come here. But they're more scared of us than we are of them." Unhelpful.

We continued our way home and in the car I wondered what I would do next.

Do I ignore it? With the thinking "I tried" or do I go home and find the proper number for animal control and let them know everything I saw?

Of course, I picked the latter. Once I got home, I found the correct emergency number and told them all the details of our encounter with the injured coyote. I had addresses, intersections, the time I saw it, the direction it was headed, how it was injured, everything. I told them it was probably long gone, but I thought they ought to know in case anyone else had called in, either after hitting it, or finding it in their neighbourhood.

Compared to the restaurant manager, the animal control operator was very helpful. She was polite and thankful for the information. She agreed there wasn't much to be done since we had lost sight of the animal, but she would keep a special ear open for calls in the area about an injured coyote or dog.

After the call ended I felt great. I had done everything I could think of within my ability to help this animal and to protect the people in the area. It may never amount to anything, as they may never find the animal, but at least I tried.

At least I tried.

At least I tried is something I hear myself say every day. I am thankful for that. I will never have to wonder if that homeless person had enough to eat today, because I saw him and bought him a sandwich. I will never have to wonder if that old woman I passed on the sidewalk needed help getting up the steps to her building because I asked her and she said she was fine, I will never wonder if there was more I could do for the young girl who was looking lost on the subway because I asked if she needed directions and let her follow me to her destination (we happened to be going to the same stop, I just spent a few extra minutes to get her where she was going), because today, like everyday, I did it.

There are always more causes than you can think of, and I didn't do everything I could for everyone in the world, but I do what I can for the people that surround me in their moments of need. And that is a blessing.

-Brandolyn