World Suicide Prevention Day

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day. 

If you have heard of this day you will probably have heard of or seen people wearing Yellow today, or writing LOVE on their arms to raise awareness for Suicide Prevention. 

Today, as I sought to join the action, I realized that my wardrobe has a serious lack of Yellow, and although I wrote the iconic LOVE on my arm, I felt my contribution to the movement was disturbingly small. 

A Suicide Prevention Day should not come once a year. 

There should be a day, everyday, for everyone.

For families and friends affected by the loss of a loved one, everyday is "S.A.D" Suicide Awareness Day. To those who are currently struggling with their lives, and think it is too much to bear, every day should be a Family Awareness Day, and to every suicide survivor and their loved ones, everyday is a Blessing. 

I wish there was more that the general public could do for people affected by thoughts of suicide or by a friend or loved one struggling with depression. A yellow t-shirt can get lost in the rainbow of colours in a crowd and a word on an arm can be covered by a sleeve or bracelet. 

My plan to increase awareness of depression, suicide and the pain left over afterwards, is to start writing about it. I have a small assortment of short stories that are still in the research phase, that I would like to share in the near future. Hopefully, one day, suicide will be better understood, and easier to talk about. When that happens, it'll be a lot easier for most people to say "I'm worried about you. I care for you. How can I help?"

My deepest wish is for anyone, and everyone struggling with thoughts of suicide to have someone to fight for them. I wish for them to have someone to stand with them and fight for them. I will fight for every person I meet, and I volunteer to anyone who cannot find that person to hold them up , even if we have never met, I will fight for you. You, your life, your struggles and your story matter. I will fight for you and I will do whatever I can to help you. 

Feel free to reach out to me, but if you cannot, and you or a friend is having thoughts of suicide please use any of the following helplines. 

www.kidshelpphone.ca/

www.itgetsbetter.org/Resources

www.torontodistresscentre.com/distress.shtml

www.suicidehotlines.com/canada.html

I will fight for you. 

What is Productivity?

I have managed to have a sort of epiphany regarding my work habits and my productivity over the last few weeks.

Last week, while work at my job was scarce, my family was working, or on vacation which left me home alone, feeling very much like the beloved spotted canine companion Pongo, watching the clock until Roger was done his work and ready to play with him. 

I spent a lot of time watching the clock, counting down the hours until someone would come home. If I had a dog, I would have made its' day and taken it for a 1000 walks, instead I have cats, who wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, and in fact, seemed a little put off that I was hanging around so much. 

After deciding that staring at a clock was indeed a colossal waste of time, in every sense, I decided to literally get up off my ass and do something. That amounted to this,

In 48 hours I:

-Baked 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies

-Baked a tray of brownies

-Sew a hat

-Knit a scarf

-Knit 2 leg warmers

-Cleaned the kitchen

-Sew a dress

At the end of the 48 hours, my belly hurt from all the treats, my fingers had blisters from the knitting and my wardrobe had new items in it, but I still felt like even though I had a list of accomplishments (some of which I got to check off my to do list "Make yourself a dress") I still hadn't really been productive. 

I did a lot of stuff, but none of it was stuff I really wanted to do. What I wanted to do in that time was to write, to read, to further my career, to learn something, to spend time with family, and friends, etc. 

Today I only have a short list of accomplishments, but my day was far more productive. 

Work at my Theatre is still slow, so when an opportunity arose for me to help out an old employer I leaped at the opportunity. I was contracting today. Nothing super complicated, or physically gruelling. Today I helped to install Crown Moulding in a living room. It was immensely fulfilling to take down the old Crown Mould and put up new stuff. This job is not foreign to me, I have done this before, but this time I got to see what the previous contractors had done wrong, and saw the difference to how we did it right. We did not cut corners because the job got tricky, we just did it properly because that's what we're paid for and how we're trained. 

I also had an interview for a backstage costuming gig for a show coming to our theatre. It was with an old mentor of mine (who has no idea who I am) and we discussed the show, my experience in the field, and my expectations of the job. The interview went really well, and I got the job. 

Today I did 2 things, well 3 if you include writing a blog post, far fewer "things" than I did last week in 48 hours, however, today I did things I wanted to do: I learned how NOT to install Crown Moulding, and I wrote (this blog), and I furthered my career by getting a new job to add to my resume. THIS day I found far more productive, because it was fulfilling, I did things that matter to me and that I get joy and a sense of satisfaction from. 

My day today makes me proud of myself. My days last week, although entertaining, were far too 1960's for me to be comfortable with. Honestly, if you saw the dress I made, it looks exactly like I took it out of the musical Hairspray. 

Now I am off to continue my productive day. I'm off to spend some quality time with my family :)